My friend Ruta asked me to read at a bridal shower she was throwing. A young man named Ryan was there and someone asked him, "What sign are you?"

"Scorpio." He replied.

So, I asked him, "When is your birthday?"

"November 8th."

"Well," I said, "I'm a Vedic Astrologer and in that system you would be a Libra. In fact, you look like a Libra to me. Your features are very symmetrical, you know, just like Audrey Hepburn."

His mouth dropped and he looked at my friend Ruta, a bit incredulous and asked her, "Ruta, did you tell her?"

Ruta said, "No, I didn't tell her anything."

"Tell me what?" I asked.

Ruta is beside herself at this point and she laughingly says. "Bea, Ryan just sold his first screenplay to Dreamworks and it's called "Why Can't I be Audrey Hepburn?"

James Cameron was at a party that Billy Zane threw one week PRIOR to the theatrical release of Titanic and at one point I was speaking to his wife Linda Hamilton and Mr. Cameron walked up and started massaging his wife's shoulders. I looked at him and said, "Mr. Cameron, your movie Titanic is not just a movie, it's an event."

He replied, "I hope so."

And I said with total confidence, "Well, I know so."

After the mindboggling box office that Titantic managed to rake in, the press had blazing headlines in all the papers and my favorite of course was, "THIS ISN'T A MOVIE. IT'S AN EVENT."

I was reading at a charitable event at "The Conga Room" in Los Angeles. A black kid in his early twenties sits down, crosses his arms over his heart and starts giving me attitude. So, I said to him. "Well, Merlin is telling me that you have been in trouble with the law quite a bit, but that you've decided to go legit and walk an honest path, but Merlin says it is going to take you TWO years before you start making any money so don't give up and don't do anything stupid. My guides are telling me that, you're fully legitamate now and they are very happy about it."

In an instant, his whole demeanor changed and he smiled so huge and pulled out his business card and underneath his name was written 'FULLY LEGITAMATE NOW!"

I met a guy named "Bobby The Body Man." who wanted to fix a dent on my car for 100 bucks. I thought it funny since it was July 17th, the one year anniversary of meeting "Bobby" De Niro.
I said jokingly, "I know another "Bobby The Body Man" only the bodies he works on aren't made of metal."

I told him and his thirteen year old son Tony that I would do it on the condition that he allow me to do his astrological birth chart as well as his son's. He agreed.

After he finished working on my car and actually made it look ten times worse than before he started, I just laughed and invited them into my home and read their charts.

The first thing I said to Bobby was, "Well, I'm getting that basically you've lied, cheated, stolen and scammed your way through life."

And he said without hesitation, "Yea, dat's right." with his heavy Brooklyn accent.

"Well, I'm also getting that you should be an actor." He was very excited and said, "Hey, anoddah woman like you told me da same ting like four months ago." He paused and then he asked, "But don't you have to know how to read to be an acta?"

I wasn't expecting that. "YOU don't know how to read?"

He said, "Nah, I've been stealing cars for Sammy ":The Bull" Gravano since I was twelve years old."

"Well, I'll teach you how to read if you want." He said, "Tanks, I'll tink aboud id."

Then I looked at his son and said, "I'm getting that you are not like your Father at all. I'm getting that you are extremely intelligent and one day you're going to invent something."

The kid looked at his Father and they both looked completely stunned. Then, Bobby looked at me and said, "My kid is always telling me, "Dad, one day I'm gonna fuckin' invent sumptin!"

I looked at Tony and said, "Tony, don't you ever forget that. You are going to invent something. I don't know what it is, but it's something so don't you be like your Father!"

Then I turned on Bobby and basically scolded him and said, "So don't you teach him to be like YOU because he's not. He's here to change the future generations of your degenerate family. Now, do you want me to teach you how to read?"

"Nah, I'd be too dangerous wid a pencil!"