After my experiences of guiding three men in a row who were very ill, then seeing them heal after just one guided journey, I had a question for Merlin. I went inside and asked him, “Merlin, I want to know if someone is going to die because their bodies are just too far gone, would it still be helpful to guide them on a journey?”
As usual, I didn’t have to wait long for my answer. That evening, my phone rang.
“Hello, is this Beatrice?” A woman asked.
Then she said, "I got your number from Pamela. She said you needed money and might be interested in stuffing envelopes for me.”
“I don’t know why she would say that. I don’t stuff envelopes. I’m an Astrologer and a healer.”
“Yes I am.”
“I wonder if you could help a friend of mine’s son. He’s dying of cancer.”
“Well, I don’t know, but I’d love to try.”
The following day I was driving through the tranquil streets of Bel-Air and arrived at the home of Justin. His charming mother, a very pretty blonde greeted me at the door then brought me to her son. He was an emaciated young man who was sitting on all fours with his arms and head resting on the couch. At only twenty-two years of age Justin had been diagnosed with testicular cancer.
Justin’s mother politely asked me if I would like something to drink. I declined and she said, “I’ll be in the kitchen if you need me.” I noticed that Justin treated his mother rather coldly, almost with disdain. She left us alone together and I began reading for Justin. I looked at him and the first thing I said was, “Justin, there is only one reason that you’re on this planet and the clue is right within your very name. Your full name Justin Dave literally means Justin Beloved . . . Justin . . . be loved . . . Just be loved. You came into this world with more anger than anyone I’ve ever seen. It seems like you’re always creating some disaster in your life. I’m getting a lot of accidents as well. Is that true?”
“That’s true. I’ve had seven car accidents, I fell out of a tree once, I’ve had brain surgery and now this. Why is God doing this to me?”
“God isn’t. You are.”
At that point, his mother came in and asked if we needed anything. Again Justin was very rude with her practically ordering her to get out and leave us alone. When she left I said, "Justin, what kind of a way is that to talk to your mother?” He shrugged and said, “I don’t know.”
"This is serious Justin. You don’t treat her like she’s your mother. Merlin is telling me I need to look at the karma between you two?” I studied his chart and asked Merlin for any information on the past life relationship between these two souls, “Justin, I’m being shown a duel in the South in the eighteen hundreds. You fought a duel with your father over your mother and you lost and you were shot in the heart.”
“I was born with three holes in my heart." He said.
“Well, there you go. Now, they owed you a life but you've made them pay dearly. I mean you’ve put your parents through hell. You came to Earth to work out this terrible anger you have in general but especially with women. Now, I want to look into this cancer you’ve created. Let’s see . . . O.K. Justin when you were about fifteen years old, were you sexually assaulted by a man?”
“Damn, you're good.”
“I’m sorry. I hope I’m wrong.”
“No you’re right. Yea, when I was fifteen, I was at a beach party and this man…”
“Justin, I don’t need to hear the details, stuff like that really upsets me. The point is that it took seven years for the rage, the shame and the anger to manifest itself into this cancer. I mean look at where the cancer is and look, how you’re sitting on all fours.”
“I can’t sit any other way. It hurts too much" He said.
“How do you sleep?” I asked him.
“Like this. I’ve been sitting like this for the last three months.”
My heart really went out to Justin. I said to him,“Oh god, I’m so sorry that you’re suffering this way, but there is something about you, Justin. I can’t explain it but every time I look into your eyes there is this twinkling thing going on and . . . well. . I’m getting that you are a very high soul and that a movie is going to be made about your life.”
“Do you think I’m going to die?”
“I don’t know, but a movie is going to be made about your life and I hope you’ll be the one to write it.”
“I just don’t know why God is doing this to me?”
"Justin, God isn’t doing this to you. You are doing this to you. Why should God punish you when you’re doing such a good job all by yourself. Now, Justin I want to take you on a healing journey. I’m going to guide you on a meditation.”
“I don’t think I can do it.” He said.
“Well, you can try O.K.?”
Justin did it just fine and got a profound experience of what it means to “just be loved.” I am going to share the part of his vision where he goes into the cave that symbolizes his heart. This is what he described to me.
In the middle I see a dark cave. It’s been abandoned. No one is there. It’s dark and I can’t see. Now, there is a beautiful woman. Her name is Heather. I ask her “What have you come to tell me or show me in this cave?” She wants to show me the way so I can be healed. She grabs my hand. She takes me further into the cave where it is peaceful and warm. There is a fire in the center. She holds me and comforts me and puts her energy into me. It makes me feel warm and secure. It makes me not want to let go of her. She is touching my tumor. I feel it shrinking. She is kissing me on the lips. It makes me feel wanted. She is putting all the love she has inside of her and she is giving it to me. I forgot what is was like to have love inside.
When Justin opened his eyes, the first thing he said to me was “Beatrice, if I have to die, that’s all I want before I die . . . is to be kissed like that.”
“Well Justin, I believe you will.”
“Do you think I’m going to die?”
“That’s your decision. I told you the only reason you’re here is to learn to accept love. The minute you do that you don’t have to be here anymore.” Justin died six days later.
On December 12,1996, I awoke and immediately dialed Justin’s number. His father answered the phone. "Hello, Michael, this is Beatrice. I wanted to see how Justin was doing?”
“Justin passed away early this morning, Bea."
“Oh, I’m so sorry.”
“It’s O.K. Bea. It was a really beautiful and profound experience. He’s at peace now. We’re having a service for him today, if you would like to come.”
“I wouldn’t miss it. Thank-you for inviting me."
Justin’s brother Adam gave a eulogy and I was so touched when he said, “The day before Justin died he had a date with a beautiful girl. I helped him to bathe and shave. It took two hours and he was in a lot of pain but he was determined to look his best. She came to see him and they shared tenderness and she kissed him . . . and the next day he died.”
The beautiful girl who gave him The Kiss was sitting directly in front of me.
Justin has been around me ever since.
REMEMBER THE SPARKLE
I met Karen in the spring of ’98. I was doing readings at a store in Malibu. The first thing I said to Karen was, “They’re going to miss you at your job when you’re gone.”
“But, I’m not going anywhere.” She replied.
“Well, they’re going to miss you when you’re gone because I’m seeing you traveling all over Europe with a new job.”
Karen said, “No . . . I’m going to Cape Cod for the week-end.”
“Well, I’m still seeing you traveling all over Europe with a new job. Now Karen, I don’t want to scare you but I’m getting that you are going to suffer a great loss and that it’s this loss that precedes all these changes. But, I’m sorry I don’t know what this loss is. I really don’t want to frighten you or anything, but that is what I’m getting.”
A few weeks later I saw Karen again at a pool party in Malibu where I was doing readings. She greeted me warmly and then I was very shocked and saddened when she said, “Bea, remember you told me that I was going to go through a very big loss.”
“Yes, I do.”
“Well, a week after our reading my brother committed suicide.”
“Oh Karen, I’m so sorry. Let me do a reading for you right now.”
I spread my cards on the table and I said, “First of all, I’m getting that you are going to move.”
Karen said, “No, I have no plans to move.”
“Listen Karen, I really want to be able to focus on you because this is a very serious issue and this party environment is not the best place to focus. I would like give you a full session with me as a gift. Can you come over to my house? I want to guide you on a meditation and maybe your bother will show up in your vision.”
Karen came to my home on September third of ’98 and I guided her on a beautiful journey and she did see her brother.
Suicide is not an easy subject to understand. I have felt the desire myself on many occasions in my life. It is very hard to deal with pain, especially for highly sensitive people. I would to give you a new perspective on this “last resort” and understand that when someone makes that choice they do not go straight to hell. On the contrary they go to heaven, get a new plan together and eventually come back.
You really do have to create heaven on earth before permanently moving beyond the cycles of death and rebirth to reside in a permanent state of heavenly bliss. That state of bliss can be achieved here and now. Obviously it’s not easy. If it was easy . . . the planet would be empty.
I want to share a very interesting part of Karen’s guided meditation that totally blew my mind and is the reason why Karen will always have a very special place in my heart. She is a wonderful channel herself. This is what she described in her vision. The cave she is about to walk into symbolizes her heart.
“I see a cave with a wide opening. I can’t see very well because it’s dark, but there is fresh air. It’s not scary. Inside there is a glow, a golden ball. It’s starting to grow. It’s casting light all around. There is a design, a pretty pattern with diamonds and lots of geometric shapes and circles in gold leaf. It’s very bright and cheerful. I see a woman in a white flowing robe. Her hair continuously changes from brown to silver. I ask her “What is your name?” Her name is Jill. She holds a book in her hands, a book with stories in it. It’s old. It’s ancient. She says it’s a key to my past. She says, “Romulus . . . it’s not going to happen again.” She wants me to know it’s not going to happen again. She gives me a red cloth made of silk. It has a design of olive tree branches on it . . . yes, it is olive tree branches. She wants me to know that I can come back if I need to and to remember the golden light. She says that I don’t have to hide anymore.”
I could barely keep still I was so excited by what I had just heard. When we finished the first thing I asked was, “Karen, do you know who Romulus was?”
“You have no idea who Romulus was?” I asked again getting even more excited.
“No.” She said.
“Remus and Romulus. You’ve never heard of them?” I asked again.
“No Bea. I have no idea.”
“This is amazing Karen because you know how I feel about Romans right? Well, Romulus was the founder of Rome. Remus and Romulus were brothers and the story goes that they were raised by a pack of wolves and as adults Romulus eventually killed his brother then founded Rome. Just like Cain and Abel and it’s been brother against brother ever since. So when “Jill” which means “innocent” said, “Romulus . . . it’s not going to happen again.” To me she is saying without a doubt that the imbalance caused by the male domination of the female all over the world is coming to an end. Roman mentality is that of the Conqueror. The global state of constant violence and war we’ve experienced for thousands of years is coming to an end and it’s not going to happen again. The balance of male and female is necessary to bring peace to the planet. I teach about the Ancient Goddess and what you saw is an amazing vision of the Goddess and many of her symbols. The cave is a symbol of your heart and the golden light is the color of the Goddess energy. The light revealed diamond shapes and diamond literally means “World Goddess.” Circles are a symbol of wholeness . . . the wholeness which is found within your heart. Then a Goddess woman appeared and she said “My name is Jill” and Jill means “innocent” because the Goddess is innocent. Jill’s hair turns from brown to gray symbolizing the Triple Goddess “The Virgin, Mother and Crone.” Next, she gives you an ancient book and a red silk scarf with Olive tree branches. The ancient book means she wants you to understand ancient wisdom in some way and communicate or write about it. The red scarf is a symbol of the Goddess and her life blood and Olive tree branches in Roman times symbolized “The Peace of the Goddess.” Clearly, you were a Roman Priestess because she says the book is a key to your past, but women like you and I were persecuted which is why you hide in this life. I hide too believe me. In fact, I hardly ever leave my house.”
Karen was a bit taken aback that what she saw had so much meaning.
“Wow Bea, that’s pretty amazing.” She said.
“Well, so are you. Now you saw your brother as well and let me read back to you what you described:
“I go up the path of clouds. I see my brother Mark. He keeps saying, “Karen, you’re awesome. Don’t be scared. It’s all good.” He’s so happy. He looks so young and so much better. He takes me to a white beach with really clear blue green water and cliffs near by. Mark wants me to take some time. He says, “Let the water wash over you and let the sun warm you and let the shade protect you.” He says, “Go inside, so you can come out. Go inside yourself.” He wants me to write his story. Mark wants me to remember the sparkle, what it meant . . . the sparkle in his eye.”
Shortly after this session Karen got a new job working for a hotel chain which took her traveling all over Europe, then she moved to Poland to oversee the building of a multiplex movie theatre.
In December of ‘99, I was just awakening and I heard someone say, “Beatrice, remember me, Sparkle, sparkle in my eye.”
Telepathically I said, “Yea, you’re Karen’s brother. How can I help you?”
“Can you please tell my sister it’s O.K. for her to come back to Los Angeles.”
“Yea sure, no problem.” I answered.
Karen called me the following day. Before she could say a word I said to her, “Karen, your brother came to me yesterday and asked me to tell you that it was O.K. for you to come back to Los Angeles.”
“Bea, that’s so weird, because I called you yesterday to ask you just that question and your voicemail picked up and I hung up, but that’s why I’m calling you. I wanted to know if it was OK to come back to L.A.”
“Well, I just answered your question. Your bro sends his love and says, “Come on home sista!” I heard him loud and clear. He said, “Remember me . . . sparkle, sparkle in my eye.”
“That was his nickname when he was alive. We called him Sparkle.”
“That’s funny. I gave myself that name when I was in Junior High. I called myself Sparkle.”
When Karen came back from Poland she did a second session with me. This time I said in the reading, “Karen, I see you meeting a cinematographer and I don’t usually get job descriptions but that is what I’m getting. You are going to meet a cinematographer.”
I guided Karen on a second meditation and her brother showed up again and this time he just said, “Play on the computer.” Karen started dating through a computer singles service where she met Brian. Brian is a cinematographer and the shows he shoots for include, “It’s A Miracle” and “Beyond Chance”
How do you like dem apples!